Tweens too young to date
by Dahlia Martin
ARE tweens too young to have boyfriends or girlfriends?
Tween Beat recently posed this question to four girls — Miza Syakirah Mohd Razif, 10, Balveen Kaur Hullon, 10, Susita Lakshami Ravindren, 10, and Nurul Ain Faiqah Mohd Fuad, 11, and three boys — Idris Martin, 12, Dominic Gan, 10, and Sanjeetpal Singh Sidhu, 12, during a forum. Their response?
“YES!” All seven shouted out in unison, saying it is not right to have a boyfriend or girlfriend when you’re that age — between 10 and 13.
But as the discussion went along, it seemed that what the group believes in and does are entirely different things!
Miza started the ball rolling: “My mother met her first boyfriend when she was 18. She married the third one. I think I’ll get a boyfriend when I’m 23, when I’m more grown-up.
“Anyway, I’ve already had two boyfriends. Both my experiences were bad. They cheated on me! I don’t trust boys anymore. I know they loved me because the first one sent me many love letters and the second fought with the first one because of me.
“The first boy, who was nine last year, became interested with another girl. I don’t hate him. I hate her! Because of her, we had to berpisah (go separate ways).
“But I didn’t fight with her. I just came home and threw a lot of things around in my room.
“As for the second one, who is 12, he told my best friend on a school camping trip that he liked her because she was pretty. He also told her that he liked me because I was rich.
“My friend also found out that he had 11 other girlfriends and told me about it. That’s why I think having a boyfriend at our age is not good.”
Balveen found herself in a bit of a tight spot when her best friend sent an anonymous letter to their classmate Raju.
Balveen, who has a boyfriend, revealed how “messy” things became after Raju got the letter.
“My friend meant it as a joke. She told me to wait at the school shelter for her. I didn’t know that she had told Raju in the letter that she was a secret admirer who wanted to meet him there.
“When Raju saw me, he naturally thought I had written the letter. From that day, he acted really strange when I was around and wouldn’t even look at me. One day, I told him I hated him. Now when he sees me, his nose twitches and he turns red.
“Later, my friend told me that he really did like me and I know he does because he’s always making his gang sit near me and my circle of friends during recess. And now, I must admit, I’m starting to think, hmm, not bad.”
The girls aren’t the only ones with relationship dilemmas. Dominic was betrayed by his best friend last year when the pal told the person he had a crush on that Dominic liked her very much.
“Soon, the whole class knew about it. Even though I usually try to avoid girls I like, I made an effort to be closer to her. At one point, I started sitting next to her in class.
“However, in the end, I gave up as she was being really mean to me. She obviously didn’t want me; she rejected me. And it was painful, really painful,” said Dominic, who is now able to laugh about it.
He soon got over the experience and found a new love interest. Unfortunately, that didn’t last either.
“The girl knew I liked her and would do anything for her. But there was something I couldn’t do which got her mad. She was caught talking in class when the teacher wasn’t around. There were two assistant monitors and I was one of them.
“The other monitor insisted on taking down her name. I begged him to give her another chance for my sake but he refused. She was so angry, she stopped talking to me. But that’s okay. Life goes on,” he said.
Unlike the others, Idris claimed he’d never been rejected before.
Idris, who had his first girlfriend at four, said he was the one who broke hearts.
“There was this embarrassing experience,” he confessed, “when I was in Standard Five.”
“I received a love letter from a girl, Dara. The letter was so direct. I mean, I barely knew her. I hardly talked to her and there she was, saying she loved me. Of course, nothing happened in the end. Mind you, she was just in Standard Two.”
Idris’ classmate Sanjeetpal remembers the incident: “He threw the letter in the bin. Idris receives a lot of letters from girls and he always shows them to us, his best friends. We have a good laugh!”
Nurul Ain said she would never let herself be caught in such a situation. “I won’t go after a boy. If a boy likes me, he would have to say so. I want him to be direct and tell me upfront.
“There was this one guy who already had a girlfriend. He also said he liked several girls in our class but I made him choose. He picked me in the end... but I’m not really in love, so I think I’ll tell him I don’t love him after this.”
Of the seven, only Susita and Sanjeetpal have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Susita’s close friends didn’t either although two of her classmates did.
They won’t discuss the details though. I think they’re afraid people will find out.”
Sanjeetpal is happy to watch his friends do the romancing.
He said he’ll only have a serious relationship when he is 21.
“Hopefully, I would have finished my studies by then and be ready to settle down.”
At this juncture, all agreed that their education should come first, followed by their parents.
“And then maybe love, but that’s not so important,” said Faiqah.
“OK,” Idris said, “but you can’t control when you fall in love. You can’t say that 21 is the perfect age to get a girlfriend. What happens if you fall deeply in love when you’re 17? What are you supposed to do?”
All also agreed that cheating on one’s girlfriend/boyfriend was “un-cool” and “cowardly”.
On what they would look for in a person to have a serious relationship with, Balveen had this to day: “The first thing I’ll look for is compatibility. He should be able to match me in every single way.”
The other tweens agreed.
lolx. This is just too cute.
Taken from YouthQuake Central
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